Day 9- Self-Worth, Men.

I'm still working on my self-worth project which I formulated from the support from sunette's "self-worth and fear of others" video series.

I realize more and more how extensive these points are, and that what is written below is but a fraction of the digging I have to do to get to the bottom of this point -where it cam from -how I charged it with energy -how I contributed to it my whole life -when it took me over -what patterns came from it.

My writing is going to have to intensify if I want to get this done in my lifetime! Howerver - no reactions to the work ahead, I can only do this over time and become more effective in time.

Fear of Aging: Men.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear aging.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear losing my youth.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself as either end of the aging/youthful polarity.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear others judging me as aging/old/past my prime.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself as aging/old/past my prime.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define aging as stale, old, out of the loop, diminished value.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself as stale, old, out of the loop, diminished value.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear men judging me as old.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear men judging me as old because I will feel diminished.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel diminished if men judge me as old because I wont have power over them.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear not having power over men.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire to have power over men and/or women.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe I am not equal to men.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to place security within having power over men.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire having power over men for my own security.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to abuse men in self-interest for my personal security.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel insecure.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel secure when I feel youthful.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel insecure when I feel old.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to abuse others due to my insecurities.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from men.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to develop this power relationship with men out of separation.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to associate men with security.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to associate men with dominance/dominating.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe men are suppose to be strong to protect me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe if I am old no one will protect me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have abused men all my life,

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have abused myself all my life.

I realize I'm going to have to do a lot of sf on men and women and how I define them and react to those definitions. How I view myself in relation to both genders ans the gender roles as well.

I am ready to experience men as my equals, and live with them as if they were me, without trying to manipulate them in self-interest, or desire them in self-interest, or judge them in self-interest.