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Monday, January 31, 2011

Terminology

     In school, each new class begins with defining the terms we will be using throughout the semester. This is a necessary task as it ensures that we are all on the same page, that the material is clear and that there is no room for misconceptions/miscommunication. I will apply the same logic to my blog.
     Below are the definitions of terms I will be using, they are based on my own understanding and living of them.  (This is where I first learned most of them before I began applying them for myself: http://desteni.co.za/faq).

Self-honesty: the understanding and realization that the root of most human behaviour is based in some way in self-interest (survival, fear of death, ego, patterned behaviour, addictions, escapes, fear, emotions, reactions, thoughts, feelings, justifications, power, desire and greed, among others).
-To look through one's actions and see the true starting point.
-Using the principle of 'what is best for all' and  using common sense.
-Realizing that we have abdicated our responsibility to life and existence, and that we have accepted and allowed ourselves to become like programmed robots who survive in this world without taking in to considerations those who have no voice, or the suffering, abuse and starvation that goes on in our name and in the name of profit. Realizing that we are all equally responsible for this state of reality, and that we accept it and allow it everyday.
-To admit to oneself when one is placing him or herself above the group called life, and realizing that we are equal to everything in existence.
-To become aware of the mind.

Self-forgiveness: a statement specifically including the words "I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to..."
-This use of words releases one of accepted and allowed behaviour, but can not do so on its own, it must be accompanied by self-honesty and self-corrective action.
-A tool used in conjunction with self-honesty and self-corrective application for deprogramming the mind of thought patterns, reactions, emotions and feelings and replacing them with self-movement, principled living, and discovering who one is as life.
-A taking/gifting back of self.

Self-corrective statement: stating a required change in behaviour from a starting point of self-interest to one that is best for all.

Self-corrective application: an actual living of the aforementioned principles of equality and oneness.
- Actually apllying what is learned about self through self-honesty and self-forgiveness, meaning a practical application of principled living in daily life, by determining the ways in which we must change, and then changing.
-Living the words we speak, so that what goes on in our mind is the same as what goes on in our reality. "As above, so below."
-Correcting one's behaviour through self-honesty and self-forgiveness, insodoing living self-responsibly from that point on.

Self-responsibility: stopping oneself from living in the secret world of the mind, i.e.: stopping all thoughts, feeling, emotions, reactions and judgments, and acting in a way that is best for all.
-Taking responsibility for our actions one step at a time, one breath at a time (for me this means to take back control of myself, through breath, starting with the ocd), because until we have ourselves (self first), we have nothing, we are dis-empowered. The point of self-responsibility is to empower oneself in order to become able to affect change in this world, instead of continuing on playing the game.
-Placing oneself in a position of stability (In the physical: get a job, get an education, get a stable income, stop using drugs, alchohol etc... In the mind: stop bouncing around from one emotional extreme to another, stop participating in thoughts etc...). Utilizing available resources to gain stability in the world, and doing so honestly. Using the process of self-forgiveness to release self and stop the mind.
-Not taking part in the continuance of the co-creation of our current reality by not taking part in the mind.

A 'Point': a point is something we face in reality, the point of being yourself around friends, the point of ocd (most points are composed of many other points). The fear of confronting someone, the desire to have something, the point of judging others...
-Taking apart a 'point' is for example, realizing you're judging something and then investigating why you reacted that way (self-honesty), forgiving yourself for doing so (self-forgiveness), and correcting the behaviour (corrective application). This whole equation = self-responsibility.

Energetic reaction: any reaction that is charged with either positive, negative or neutral energy. This energy can be released through taking apart points and doing self-forgiveness, and the build up of energy can be avoided though self-corrective action.
-We do not require energy to move ourselves through reality; we don't need to depend on motivation to get off our asses. I think of all the things I have done in order to achieve a 'good' feeling or avoid a 'bad' feeling instead of doing things out of principle. Behaving in ways to get an energetic feeling 'reward' or avoid 'punishment' is acting based on self-interest instead of stepping back and looking at the action and determining whether or not it's really a self-honest act. If we act in self-honesty we act in our own best interest, as well as in the best interest of all.

Polarity: If we experience one end of the spectrum, we're bound to experience the other.
-If you're feeling really high one day: 'happy' and motivated, and you feed in to that and try to keep it up, you're bound to fall. We will always experience the polar opposite of the energetic reaction we allow within ourselves.
-The world works in polarity (rich/poor, obese/emaciated, beautiful/ugly, things in which you can't have one without the other).

Time Loop: All points we have allowed in our lives are points we must face in self-honesty and correct. In time, these points come up and we have the opportunity to deal with them, but if we miss that opportunity we will time loop, that is, run in to some turmoil wherein progress is very difficult, until that point reemerges again for us to deal with.

The Physical: The three dimensional reality we live in.

Breath: the act of breathing, specifically 4-count breathing where one breathe in for 4 seconds, hold it for four seconds, exhale for 4 seconds and pause again for 4 seconds.
-This 4-count breath can be used as the most amazing tool because in those pauses between the in-breath and the out-breath you can, what I call, "check yourself" (as in check yourself before you wreck yourself!). In that pause or that space, you can tell if something is up, if something is wrong, if you're stressed or if there's a little thing nagging at you (if you've acted dishonestly, if you're emotionally charged, if your lost in thought and not here as presence, these things will be revealed if you just give youself a moment to look for them). These things are easily ignored and can compound, but if we 'check ourselves' in every breath we can remain clear. That pause is like a snapshot of who we have accepted and allowed ourselves to become, and where we are in relation to ourselves.
-It's the place I use to check my self-forgiveness, to see if I've cleared a point.
-That is why it is through breath that we can live self-honestly, self-responsibly, and actually change ourselves through stopping the thoughts, feelings and emotions and stopping the mind. It is through breath that I intend to dismantle, disperse and release my obsessive compulsive behaviour.

Here: not in the mind, but 'here' present as presence, as awareness.
-Being aware of the physical, being present in the moment, aware of your body...
-Being the directive principle of yourself. Living in the moment in breath.
-Not participatin in distractions, not escaping in entertainment (escaping in ocd), thoughts or feelings.
-Being aware of yourself in the context of the whole.

 Those are the main terms that I have used up to this point.

Why am I Blogging?

     I've started this blog as a commitment to myself, so that I can share myself in self-support, and support for others who may be going through similar experiences. I understand that through writing I am taking responsibility for my words and actions as well as learning to write self-honestly, wherein I am holding myself accountable for any self-judgments, reactions, projections and fears. Within this accountability, I will be using the process of self-forgiveness which I learned/am learning how to apply effectively through studying the Desteni material.

     This process is a 'taking back of self', or a 'gifting back of self', through self-honesty, self-forgiveness and self-corrective application. (From living in and as the mind to living 'here' as awareness).

     I will begin my blogs by 'writing myself out', free-flow style, so that I can take what's going on in my mind and lay it out on paper, literally bringing my thoughts into the physical where I can keep track of and work with them. I will then go over my 'mind on paper' to see, in self-honesty, what I react to or where I am deceiving myself, and to check for any self-manipulation or abdication of responsibility. This will be followed by my self-forgiveness and self-corrective statements.
     I have been keeping a written journal for almost a month now. It was a first step in disciplining myself to write every day and to practice writing honestly. It was that simple act that brought me to this point of sharing openly what it is I'm going through. Over time my writing and application will become more effective.
     Sharing this process publicly brings up reactions of fear of judgment, embarrassment, self-consciousness and feeling exposed, but I understand that these feelings are universal among humans, and that underneath what we present we are all facing ourselves in one way or another. So we can either do this openly and learn from each other, or we can do it in isolation.  I base my choice on common sense. How did I get to this point?
I am not only blogging for this reason though. I am blogging to take myself back, so that I can live actual self change therefor affecting change in this world. Part of my process is standing unconditionally for equality and oneness which is translated practically to standing for an equal money system and clearing my own starting point in everything I do to one of equality.