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Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Self-Forgiveness on highschool Experiences (yes, I'm still carrying them around... NO MORE!!!)

Not being chosen:
-I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel like I don’t belong.
-I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel like an outcast.
-I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear feeling like an outcast.
-I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear feeling like I don’t belong.
-I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think, perceive and/or believe myself to be excluded and an outcast.
-I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to compensate for thinking, perceiving and believing myself to be excluded and/or outcast by acting in ways which make others feel excluded or like outcasts.
-I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate in the polarity of ‘included’ and ‘excluded,’ when all are included as life, and only self can separate and exclude self as ego.
-I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire to be part of an exclusive group.
-I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear be seen as ‘not part of the group.’
-I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear being seen as an outcast.
-I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that not belonging and being an outcast exist, these terms are of separation and are not equal and one.
Feeling tormented:
-I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel tormented when I am not getting what I want.
-I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel tormented when my ego is being diminished.
-I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist as ego.
-I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react to my ego being hurt as if I ‘as who I really am’ am being hurt.
-I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel tormented when an event is not confirming what my mind believes I ‘should be’ as ego.
-I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to experience myself as tormented by a situation or event, it is only my mind creating the experience of tormented within myself, and is not coming from an outside source.
Feeling humiliated/rejected:
-I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to experience humiliation as self-judgment in separation.
-I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to experience rejection as self-judgment in separation.
-I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react in self-rejection to a situation which I thought, believed, perceived to be humiliating.
-I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel humiliated and rejected because someone was chosen over me.
-I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to compete for men.
-I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to compete with other women.
-I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate in competition within separation.
-I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that because another was chosen over me, that makes that being ‘more special,’ ‘luckier’ and ‘more desirable’ than me.
-I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think/perceive and believe myself to be ‘special,’ ‘lucky’ and ‘desirable.’
-I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think, perceive and believe myself to be ‘un-special,’ ‘unlucky,’ and ‘ un-desirable.’
-I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that to be ‘special,’ ‘lucky’ and ‘desirable’ are positive attributes, and so I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to charge these words with a positive energetic charge and I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to be able to define myself by these words and experience the perceived experience I imagine to go with them. These are mind games which are never won.
-I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that ‘special’ lucky’ and ‘desirable’ exist as life. They don’t; they are polarities which require their opposites to exist and therefore they do not stand as equality.
-I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to compare myself to another, and then think, believe and perceive myself to be a certain way based on that comparison.
-I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from another, judging myself and manifesting resentment towards her as myself, and I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist within separation from others, utilising that separation to judge myself without having to take responsibility for it. So I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to avoid taking self-responsibility by accepting and allowing separation and judgment.
-I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to reject myself as who I really am.
-I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel humiliated because my ego was hurt.
-I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel humiliated because I feel less than, as my ego is less than life.
-I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel humiliated because of the fear that others will perceive me as ‘less than’.
-I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react to humiliation with the thought, belief or perception of my ego being ‘hurt’.
-I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react to beliefs I hold, believing them to be real.
-I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hold on to beliefs, believing them to be real.
-I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hold on to beliefs, believing them to be real and thinking, perceiving and believing them to be who I am.
I accept and allow myself to let go of all thoughts, beliefs and perceptions, without fear of losing ‘who I am’. Who I really am cannot be lost, it has always been here.
-I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself based on the beliefs I hold.
-I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe what I think, feel, believe and perceive is real.
I exist and cannot be diminished by anyone but myself. I am not my ego, only my ego can feel insecure, humiliated, rejected and ‘less than.’
-I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear being judged by others and react to that fear within humiliation.
-I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear that others will perceive me as my fragile ego.
-I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear what others think because it is only in my mind and therefore it is only self-judgement. 
-I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself.
-I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not accept myself unconditionally.
-I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist as ego which is the only thing that can feel humiliated and rejected.
-I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to place value and importance on my ego. -I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe I exist only as ego.
-I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear what lies beyond ego, and in that I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear the unknown. Therefore, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear knowing myself. -I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear not knowing myself.

I allow myself to exist without separating myself from life through self-judgment, competition and comparison.
I allow myself to see through the smokescreen of my ego.
I allow myself to not react or participate within and as my ego.
I accept and allow silence within.
I trust myself to not be fooled by my ego.
I accept myself unconditionally, and I love and care for myself unconditionally.

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