Facing Resistances Towards Asserting Mysef and Being Accountable

I have to make a difficult phone call, I was going to send an email instead, but doing so would be caving into resistances, and where there are resistances, there Is separation.
I’m moving back to Canada to go to school, and I had arranged a job and had it all lined up and ready to go. I would be a sort of personal assistant to a very busy woman. But as time passed and my schedule limitations began to present themselves and an unexpected family illness drew my attention elsewhere, I had to make the decision to back out of the arrangement I had with this woman.
So now I have to call her and tell her about my decision. This should be no big deal, but for some reason, I am having huge resistances towards it. I experience these same resistances whenever I quit a job or have to back out of something I had agreed to. Before Desteni, I used to tell white lies or leave it to the last minute, allowing the pressure to build up until it moved me into action. But not this time, this time I move myself and this time I speak from a starting point of honesty, communicating from a starting point of self-honesty, and not deceit.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to resist making a phone call.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to resist making a phone call because of the thought/perception/belief that I am letting someone down.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think/believe/perceive that “letting someone down“ will disappoint them.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think/believe/perceive that ‘letting someone down’ makes me a disappointment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to project disappointment in myself on to another.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself by projecting disappointment in myself on to another.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be disappointed in myself through separation.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself within and as disappointment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing disappointment to exist within and as me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the thought of letting someone down’ with disappointment in myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the thought that I can let someone down to exist within and as me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to place my expectations in myself on to someone else’s expectations of me in separation.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to project my expectations of myself onto another being.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to take self-responsibility for myself by allowing myself to separate myself by placing my disappointment in myself onto another being.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hide from myself by placing my disappointment in myself outside of myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to avoid facing myself, and my disappointment in myself, by avoiding making this phone call.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe I can hide from myself by avoiding facing myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hide from myself by placing my expectations of myself onto another being through projection.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not have to take responsibility for myself by projecting my expectations outside myself in separation, and placing them on another, thus giving my power away to another by accepting and allowing myself to think/believe/perceive that I need to live up to her standards, and not my own.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to give my power away by projecting my expectations of myself onto beings in my world, thus depending on my reflection of myself through them in order to judge myself and evaluate my progress in separation.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe I can let someone else down.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I am responsible for the emotional state of another.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe I must live up to my perceived expectations of myself through another.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel disappointed in myself instead of taking self-responsibility and facing myself by doing what needs to be done with certainty and directness.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear being certain and direct.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to be certain and direct within myself, and with my actions and words.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear the reactions of others when I am certain and direct.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to take self-responsibility for my certainty and directness by allowing a backdoor wherein I hold on to the fear and self-doubt within myself, of fearing and doubting that I will or can stand by myself, by my decisions and my actions eternally.

I bring myself Here, I allow myself to take self-responsibility by facing my own self-disappointment instead of projecting it on to another,
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel disappointed in myself, and I no longer allow self-disappointment to exist within and as me. I replace self-disappointment with my commitment to myself to act with certainty and directness within what I must do in my life.
I allow myself to exist as certainty and directness within my actions, words and deeds.
I no longer allow myself to place my self-expectations outside of myself, and I take self-responsibility to live up to my expectations of myself by facing myself in each moment.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create un-realistic expectations of myself, and instead I allow myself to expect self-honesty within the understanding of what I am capable of in my life and in each moment.